Rediscovering the Art of Dying: How a Forgotten Practice Is Making a Digital Comeback

In the age of rapid innovation and hyper-connectivity, we spend vast amounts of energy preparing for the next big life moment: new jobs, marriages, births, even retirement. Yet, the one event that touches every human life—death—remains shrouded in silence. But this is changing. A new wave of thinkers, practitioners, and technologists are leading a resurgence in how we confront and integrate death into our modern lives. In the most recent episode of The Digital Legacy Podcast, host Niki Weiss and grief expert Michelle Desmond, MBA, MS explore this movement and reexamine the ancient practice of dying well—and its rebirth in the digital age.

About This Blog

StartFragment

In the age of rapid innovation and hyper-connectivity, we spend vast amounts of energy preparing for the next big life moment: new jobs, marriages, births, even retirement. Yet, the one event that touches every human life—death—remains shrouded in silence. But this is changing. A new wave of thinkers, practitioners, and technologists are leading a resurgence in how we confront and integrate death into our modern lives. In the most recent episode of The Digital Legacy Podcast, host Niki Weiss and grief expert Michelle Desmond, MBA, MS explore this movement and reexamine the ancient practice of dying well—and its rebirth in the digital age.

Death as a Human Experience, Not a Crisis

For centuries, death was an intimate part of life. People were born and died at home, surrounded by family. Mourning was visible, public, and structured. But in the last hundred years—especially in the Western world—death has become medicalized, institutionalized, and often invisible. We lost not just rituals, but a societal vocabulary for grief.

Today’s death-positive movement is a counterbalance to that erasure. It seeks to normalize conversations around dying, grief, and legacy. More people are choosing careers as end-of-life doulas, grief educators, and digital legacy consultants. They aren't chasing morbid curiosity—they're honoring our shared mortality.

And it’s not just for those in the throes of loss. It’s for all of us. By making space for the hard conversations now, we soften the landing later—for ourselves and our loved ones.

Grief Literacy: An Essential Life Skill

Grief remains uncomfortable and unfamiliar territory for many. We often struggle with what to say, how to act, or simply how to process our own sadness. But grief literacy—the ability to understand and navigate loss, both for ourselves and to support others—is now gaining recognition as a critical life skill.

Imagine if we included grief education alongside the rest of our typical education in schools. Understanding the emotional aspects of mourning, recognizing diverse cultural practices around death, and learning about anticipatory grief could become as routine and essential as studying algebra.

Growing public interest in thanatology—the academic study of death and dying—indicates this idea is becoming more than just theoretical. Universities are now offering specialized graduate programs in thanatology, preparing students with both scholarly knowledge and a compassionate, human-centered understanding of mortality.

Legacy in the Age of the Internet

EndFragment

Today, we live multiple lives: our physical lives, our emotional and spiritual lives, and our digital ones. Most of us will leave behind thousands of digital footprints—photos, emails, posts, and files—that form a mosaic of who we were. But very few of us have a plan for what should happen to that legacy.

Digital legacy planning is not just about protecting assets or preventing identity theft. It’s about shaping the narrative you leave behind. It asks questions like: Do I want my social media to remain active after I’m gone? Should my loved ones have access to my cloud storage or email? What values, memories, or messages do I want to pass on in digital form?

These aren’t just technical decisions. They’re deeply personal ones. And they require as much forethought and care as any legal will or healthcare directive.

End-of-Life Doulas: Companionship for the Final Journey

Just as birth doulas assist in ushering new life into the world, death doulas help guide people through the end of life. Their role is non-medical but profoundly impactful. They offer emotional, spiritual, and logistical support to individuals and their families as death approaches.

In a society that tends to warehouse the dying—especially elders—into clinical or isolated settings, the work of death doulas restores humanity and presence to the dying process. They encourage open conversations, rituals, life reviews, and sometimes simply quiet companionship.

The resurgence of death doulas is part of a broader shift toward "death reclaiming"—bringing the sacred, communal, and personal elements back into a process that has become overly sterile and disconnected.

Why It Matters Now

We’re living longer but not necessarily dying better. Medical advances have prolonged life, but often at the cost of quality. The question "How do I want to live at the end of my life?" is one we rarely ask—until it's too late.

As society becomes more tech-savvy, so too must our approach to end-of-life planning. It's not just about filling out forms or checking legal boxes. It's about legacy, dignity, and ensuring that our final chapter reflects our values.

This means understanding the continuum between life, dying, and grieving. It means involving our families in our decisions, articulating our healthcare wishes clearly, and being willing to confront uncomfortable truths long before a crisis forces our hand.

A Call to Re-Engage

If there’s one message that echoes across this emerging movement, it's that death isn't just about endings. It’s about meaning, relationship, and continuity. Whether through documenting your digital legacy, having that hard conversation with your parents, or exploring your own grief story, each step taken is a radical act of love—for yourself and those you leave behind.

So what can you do today?

  • Start small. Pick one end-of-life document (a will, an advance directive) and complete it.

  • Have one conversation. Talk to a family member or friend about your wishes—or ask about theirs.

  • Curate your digital life. Decide what should happen to your accounts, files, and online presence.

  • Learn more. Read books like Being Mortal or Death and Other Stories, or follow digital legacy educators online.

  • Be present. Sit with someone grieving. Listen without trying to fix. Show up.

We’re not just rediscovering death—we’re rehumanizing it. And in doing so, we’re learning how to live more fully, more authentically, and more connected to what really matters.

Want to hear more about how professionals are leading the way in rethinking death and grief? Watch the full episode of the Digital Legacy Podcast with Niki and Michelle on YouTube. You won’t want to miss their heartfelt, groundbreaking conversation.





If something happened to you, would the people in your life know what to do? Don't leave your loved ones in the dark. Start developing your end-of-life and digital legacy plan. Download the My Final Playbook App on the App Store or Google Play or visit us online at Final-Playbook.Passion.io  to get started. With My Final Playbook, you'll be able to start and learn how to organize your legal, financial, physical, and digital assets today. Until then, keep your password safe and your playbook up to date.
EndFragment

Related Blog

Duis mi velit, auctor vitae leo a, luctus congue dolor. Nullam at velit quis tortor malesuada ultrices vitae vitae lacus. Curabitur tortor purus, tempor in dignissim eget, convallis in lorem.

Finding Humanity at the End of Life: The Power of Prison Hospices

When we think about end-of-life care, we usually picture a quiet hospital room or a comfortable bed at home. We rarely imagine the sterile, restricted walls of a prison. Yet, aging and dying are universal human experiences that do not stop at the prison gates. Facing the end of life is emotionally heavy for anyone, but doing so while incarcerated adds layers of isolation and fear. In the midst of this incredibly challenging environment, a remarkable movement of compassion is taking root. I recently sat down with Fernando Murillo on the Digital Legacy Podcast to discuss a truly profound approach to end-of-life care. Fernando works with the Humane Prison Hospice Project, an organization bringing dignity to some of the most medically fragile individuals in our society . A Journey of Transformation Fernando’s connection to this work is deeply personal. He entered the prison system at the young age of 16 and ultimately served 24 years . After 19 years of incarceration, he was surprised to discover a licensed hospice within the California Medical Facility. He was recruited to work in the hospice, and despite initially saying no twice out of fear of being unprepared, he eventually answered the call . He wanted to offer himself as a resource to patients navigating their final days and humanize them in a difficult setting. Fernando quickly realized that the crimes these patients had committed were the least interesting things about them. By treating them with basic human dignity, he helped them open up and find peace without the fear of judgment . The Growing Need for Care We are facing an unprecedented aging crisis within the carceral system. Currently, one in five people incarcerated in the United States is 50 years or older. Due to harsh sentencing laws, many people are essentially serving sentences that will last for the rest of their lives. This reality creates a massive need for palliative care, memory care, and compassionate end-of-life support. Often, unofficial caregiving naturally occurs in these spaces as individuals step up to help their neighbors. They assist with essential daily tasks, such as moving a peer from a bed to a wheelchair or helping them to the shower.

The Gift of Asking: Why Funeral Registries Are the Future of Grieving

When someone we love dies, the silence that follows can be deafening. But almost immediately, another sound fills the air. It is the chorus of well-meaning friends and family asking, "How can I help?" It is a beautiful question that comes from a place of love. Yet, for the person deep in grief, that question can feel like a burden. You are exhausted and your brain is in a fog. You likely have no idea what you need, let alone how to articulate it. Maybe you need help paying for the funeral, which can cost upwards of $15,000. Maybe you just need someone to mow the lawn or pick up the kids from school. But saying that out loud feels impossible as it feels vulnerable. I recently sat down with Janet Turkula and Ryan Oliveira, the team behind GiveWillow, to talk about this exact dilemma. They have built something that feels both revolutionary and incredibly obvious. It is a registry for funerals. From Trauma to Tech: A Personal Story Janet’s journey to founding GiveWillow started in a place many of us fear. In 2010, she was just 21 years old when her father passed away suddenly . She was young, grieving, and completely unprepared for the reality of planning a funeral. Like many people, she assumed her dad would live well into his 80s or 90s. He was a blue-collar worker with no savings and no will . Suddenly, she was faced with funeral costs she could not afford while trying to process the trauma of losing her parent . Years later, a friend lost an uncle, and Janet wanted to help. She looked online for a way to send something meaningful. She wanted to do something other than sending flowers or a casserole. She found nothing . In a world where we can order a car or a meal with a single tap, there was no easy way to support a grieving family financially or practically. That gap in the market and in our culture of care birthed GiveWillow. Why a Registry? We have registries for weddings. We have them for babies. We even have wish lists for birthdays . These are all major life transitions where our community gathers around to support us. So why do we stop when it comes to the most difficult transition of all? A funeral registry works just like any other registry. You can select the specific things you need help with. This might include the big-ticket items like a casket, an urn, or catering for the reception . But it also includes the hidden costs that people often forget. These can include travel expenses for family members or even the fee for refrigeration at the funeral home. By listing these items, families can give their community a concrete way to help. Instead of a vague "let me know if you need anything," a friend can log on and see that they need help covering the cost of the flowers. It transforms a stressful question into a simple and actionable act of love. More Than Just Money One of the most touching parts of my conversation with Ryan was hearing about the "time and effort" feature on the platform. Not everyone needs financial help, and not everyone can afford to give money. But support comes in many forms. GiveWillow allows families to register for acts of service too. You can add items like "lawn care," "running errands," "childcare," or even just "sitting with me" to your registry . This is profound because it validates those needs. It tells the grieving person that it is okay to need help with the laundry or to need someone to drive the carpool. And for friends who want to help but do not have extra cash, it gives them a way to show up that is just as valuable. Breaking the Silence Around Cost We rarely talk about the price tag of death. It feels taboo to put a dollar amount on a funeral as if it somehow cheapens the loss. But the reality is that funerals are expensive. Ryan mentioned that simply going through the process of building a registry can be an eye-opening educational tool. It allows you to see the "sticker price" of your wishes before you are in the emotional heat of the moment. You might realize that the big party with the margarita bar you envisioned costs $15,000 . Knowing that ahead of time allows you to plan. It allows you to ask for help specifically for that celebration rather than being blindsided by the bill later. This transparency empowers families by taking the mystery and the shame out of the financial conversation. A Tool for the Living While GiveWillow is a lifeline for those who have just lost someone, it is also a powerful tool for those of us who are still here. We often think pre-planning is only for the elderly or the sick. But as Janet’s story reminds us, death can be sudden. Creating a registry now, even if you are young and healthy, is a gift to your future self and your family. It acts as a roadmap. It tells your loved ones exactly what you want. Do you want cremation? A green burial? A big party? It removes the guesswork during a time when their brains will be foggy with grief. Ryan noted that they are even seeing people with terminal illnesses use the platform to ask for help with medical bills alongside their funeral wishes . It is becoming a holistic way to support someone through their end-of-life journey. Overcoming the "Ick" Factor I know what some of you might be thinking. "Is it tacky to ask for money for a funeral?" "Does this feel too much like crowdfunding?" Janet was clear that this is not just about raising funds. It is about re-gifting community support. It is about channeling the love that people already want to give into the places where it will actually make a difference. We have all seen the GoFundMe campaigns that circulate after a tragedy. They have their place. But a registry feels different because it feels personal and intentional. It allows a friend to say that they bought the flowers for Dad's service rather than just throwing money into a pot. It creates a connection between the giver and the receiver that is rooted in care rather than just cash. A Small Step You Can Take Today If you are reading this and feeling a little overwhelmed, that is okay. You do not have to plan your entire funeral today. But maybe you can take one small step toward opening the conversation. Check out GiveWillow just to see what a funeral registry looks like. Notice the categories. See what things cost. Talk to your partner or a close friend about one thing you might want or definitely do not want at your own service. Breaking the silence is the first step toward taking back control. Death is the one certainty we all share. By planning for it, and by allowing our community to support us through it, we are not being morbid. We are being human. We are letting love have the last word. 🎧 To hear Janet and Ryan’s full conversation with Niki Weiss, watch the episode on The Digital Legacy Podcast. You can also explore their platform at GiveWillow.com.

Comments