Grief Is Sacred: Why Culturally Conscious Deathcare Is the Future

There is no roadmap for grief. Whether you face your own death or mourn someone you love, there is no single way to feel, act, or heal.

About This Blog

There is no roadmap for grief. Whether you face your own death or mourn someone you love, there is no single way to feel, act, or heal.

Care around death should feel human, sacred, and personal, just like life.

That is why the work of Joél Simone Maldonado, also known as The Grave Woman, matters so deeply. She is changing the talk about deathcare. This is important for communities that have been ignored by the industry for a long time.



Grief Is Cultural, Not Clinical

Joél’s mantra is simple and powerful: culture is the medicine for grief.

She grew up in the Gullah Geechee tradition, surrounded by women who cared with love for the dying and the dead. Ritual, respect, and connection shaped her understanding of death, not fear.

As a funeral director and educator, she teaches that grief isn't the same for everyone. Every culture carries its own expressions of mourning, legacy, and remembrance. Honoring that diversity is not optional. It is essential.



Why Culturally Competent Deathcare Matters

In mortuary school, Joél noticed a troubling pattern. Students were taught how to care for Jewish and Christian families, and maybe a few others. But there was little to no training on how to serve communities of color with dignity and understanding.

This gap is not just theoretical. It shows up in real, painful moments. Joél shared how she once had to stop a colleague from cutting box braids off a deceased woman’s head, unaware that he was also cutting her natural hair.

That moment changed everything. It was not just about technical training. It was about cultural empathy.

Today, Joél runs a successful online academy. Here, professionals learn to care for diverse communities. They focus on methods that are both technically sound and spiritually respectful.



Digital Tools Are Changing How We Grieve

Technology is transforming the deathcare space, and Joél has a balanced view of its impact. She uses tools like livestreamed funerals and digital memorial books. These options make grieving easier and more inclusive, especially after COVID.

She sees the value in pre-recorded farewell messages. QR-coded headstones and digital legacy platforms are also important.

But not all tech is helpful.

Joél once got a big offer to promote a product. This product used AI to recreate voices, videos, and texts of deceased loved ones. She declined. Why?

For someone in deep grief, like a mother who lost a child, that realism can bring more confusion than comfort.

Grief is sacred. Just because we can build something does not always mean we should.



Essential Oils and Spiritual Rituals Still Matter

Joél embraces modern tools, but she also values ancestral practices. For example, she uses essential oils in sacred grief work.

She speaks of myrrh not just as a scent but as a balm for the spirit. Aromatherapy is not a trend for her. It is a spiritual bridge between the physical and unseen worlds.

It is not just about helping the dead transition. It is also about helping the living stay grounded through that transition.



The Role of Frequency and the Unseen

Joél believes everything holds a frequency, including emotion, memory, and grief. From scent to sound, we are always exchanging energy with the world around us.

She calls AI a light language. It’s a high-frequency tool for communication that we’re just starting to grasp.

This view shows us that death, data, and dignity are linked. They are parts of a larger picture, not just separate topics.



Ethics, AI, and the Future of Grief

Joél is not anti-technology. She is pro-humanity.

She wants an AI ethics committee for deathcare. This group would guide tools that help people in grief. This is important for discussing ideas like digital resurrection or AI simulations of the dead.

These are not just tech features. They are emotional experiences. They require care, boundaries, and ethical intention.



Start Where You Are, Not Where You Think You Should Be

If you are navigating grief or planning for something difficult, Joél’s message is simple. Start where you are.

Share your cultural needs. Explore your legacy. Talk to your family about what matters most.

You do not have to get everything right. You just need to begin.

Grief is deeply personal. It is cultural. It is sacred.
With the right support, it can also be a source of transformation and healing.

🎧 You can listen to Joél Simone Maldonado’s full conversation with Niki Weiss on The Digital Legacy Podcast

🌐 To learn more about Joél’s work and her grief care academy, visit thegravewoman.com



Take the Next Step: Start Planning with My Final Playbook

Related Blog

Duis mi velit, auctor vitae leo a, luctus congue dolor. Nullam at velit quis tortor malesuada ultrices vitae vitae lacus. Curabitur tortor purus, tempor in dignissim eget, convallis in lorem.

Leaving A Music Legacy in the Digital Age

This week on Death and Dying in the Digital Age, we consider end-of-life care and the legacies we leave behind. Niki Weiss sat down with accomplished music therapists Brooke Carroll Lemchak, PhD and Karen Dennery Melita, MMT, MT-BC to explore how music therapy helps bridge the gap between life and death while creating lasting emotional connections that can be there for loved ones when you no longer are. Both Brooke and Karen bring extensive expertise to this conversation, having dedicated their careers to music therapy after completing rigorous academic and clinical training at Temple University. Their combined experience spans decades of working with hospice patients across all age groups, from young children to elderly adults. As board-certified music therapists, they've witnessed firsthand how music can transform end-of-life experiences and create meaningful legacies for those left behind. The Power of Musical Memory in End-of-Life Care Scientific research has shown that musical memories are stored in the prefrontal cortex, one of the last areas of the brain to deteriorate as we age. This explains why individuals with advanced dementia who struggle to recognize family members can still recall and sing along to songs from their youth with perfect clarity. For music therapists working in hospice settings, this connection becomes a powerful way to maintain meaningful relationships until the very end. Through carefully selected songs and musical interactions, patients can express emotions, share memories, and connect with loved ones even when traditional communication becomes difficult. The therapeutic value extends beyond the patient to family members, who often find comfort in seeing their loved ones engage with familiar music. You can create new positive memories that family members can cherish long after their loved one has passed, helping to balance the challenging emotions that come with loss. Creating Musical Time Capsules for Loved Ones In today's digital age, creating musical legacies has become more accessible than ever. Modern technology allows us to easily compile and preserve meaningful songs that represent our relationships with different people in our lives. Unlike physical recordings that can deteriorate over time, digital platforms ensure these musical memories remain intact for future generations and can be a preservation of your legacy. Music therapists encourage people to start building these musical time capsules while they're healthy, rather than waiting until they face a health crisis. This allows for thoughtful selection of songs that truly represent relationships and experiences, creating more meaningful collections for loved ones. The process of creating musical legacies can be therapeutic in itself, helping individuals process their emotions and reflect on important relationships in their lives. It becomes a way to express feelings that might be difficult to put into words, especially for those who struggle with verbal expression. The Impact of Original Songs Sometimes, existing songs aren't enough to express the complex emotions and messages we want to leave behind. Music therapists often work with patients to create original songs that address specific relationships or unresolved feelings. These personalized compositions become powerful tools for healing and closure as well as a personal record to share with future generations. One particularly moving example involved a patient with an estranged daughter. Through songwriting, he found a way to express his regrets and love in a way that traditional communication hadn't allowed. While the song's reception by his daughter remained uncertain, the process itself provided vital emotional release and closure for the patient. The creation of original music often serves multiple purposes: it helps patients process their own emotions, provides a creative outlet during difficult times, and leaves behind a unique, personal legacy for loved ones. These songs become time capsules of emotion, carrying messages of love and healing across generations. Technology's Role in Preserving Musical Legacies Here are several ways technology has revolutionized how we create and preserve musical legacies: 1. Digital Storage Platforms Cloud-based music libraries Dedicated playlist folders for different loved ones Backup systems to prevent loss 2. Recording Options Voice memo applications Professional-quality recording software Digital audio workstations 3. Sharing Capabilities Easy distribution to family members Ability to add personal notes to songs Options for future scheduled sharing Modern digital tools have transformed how music therapists work with patients and how individuals can create their own musical legacies. What once required extensive physical sheet music collections can now be accessed instantly through digital libraries. This accessibility allows for more spontaneous and responsive music therapy sessions while ensuring that created works remain preserved for future generations. Time to Start Your Legacy The time to start creating your musical legacy is now, not when facing end-of-life decisions. Begin by thinking about the special people in your life and the songs that remind you of them. Consider creating digital folders for each loved one, filling them with meaningful music that represents your relationship. Your musical legacy doesn't have to be complex or professionally produced. It can be as simple as a playlist of songs that tell your story or express your feelings. The key is to start the process while you have the clarity and time to make thoughtful choices about what you want to leave behind. Don't wait until tomorrow to begin creating these precious gifts for your loved ones. Whether through existing songs or original compositions, music provides a unique way to ensure your love and memories live on. In the end, these musical legacies become bridges across time, allowing your voice to continue speaking to future generations through the universal language of music. Don't leave any pieces of your legacy to chance. As a next step, you can start and develop your plan by downloading the app, My Final Playbook. Through this app, you'll be able to start and learn how to organize your legal, financial, physical, and digital assets today. In the digital age, planning your legacy is just a click away. Until then, keep your password safe and your playbook up to date.

Comments